still breathing

I think I'm doing better. I'm not crying all the time but my heart still hurts.

I'm going through the anger stage even though I totally understand where he's coming from. So I feel guilty for feeling angry but I can't help it.

We had made plans to do all these fun things in the future and now we won't and that frustrates me.

I'm going to miss him. I've missed him the whole time but now it's a different miss. More permanent. Before when I missed him, I knew that he loved me and I only looked forward to the day that I'd see him again. I still felt connected to him.

I feel more lonely now. Even though he wasn't physically here I still had a "boyfriend" so I didn't feel as alone. I could just daydream about him and daydream about ravishing his body when I saw him next. So that has been taken from me now I can just daydream about the people he is doing.

2001-12-23 || 2:30 a.m.


Who Is kokoro13?

A woman just trying to find lasting love with a real man
loves: kissing, reading, video games, falling in love.

hates: working, animal abuse, ignorance, mind games

Favorite Reads
all content � kokoro13, 2003.

the past - the future