I can't believe what I've seen and heard today. It doesn't seem real. I keep thinking about how I was just there a couple of days ago looking at the Twin Towers and thinking to myself that they aren't that impressive except for their height. You could see them from so far away. I thought the Empire State Building was prettier. Now I feel bad for thinking that because now they are gone. I walked the same streets days ago that I'm now seeing on the television and as the day goes on it become less and less recognizable.

I've talked to J.G. and his mother and we can't believe it. Their family is ok but they can't get to their homes. J.G. is in the Navy but he hasn't been shipped out or anything yet. I worry about him because he has this "death premonition" that hangs heavy on him.

So I can't believe they closed the border to Canada. I mean I can believe it but that sucks. I just hope it's not closed for too long. I'd like to visit my beautiful man sometime soon. I've decided that I'm just going to rent a car as soon as I can. I know it seems strange but I feel even more distant from him. Say I had a car and my ass wanted to go see him tonight, I wouldn't be allowed to and vice-versa. So that feels weird and lonely.

I was talking to him online through IM but he just got pulled away by some people. I wonder what they are going to do? I'm envious of those that get to spend time with him. Of those that get to make him laugh. Of those that get to gaze upon his beautiful face. What is a forlorn girl to do?

Well I'm going to take a shower and try and wash this day away.