Well I still don't know what to say about what fate has sent my way...so I'll talk about the less important things going on in my life.

I'm really disappointed in SAM. He freaked out on me today when it was completely unnecessary. My phone wasn't working yesterday and I guess he tried calling a few times. I also couldn't access my voicemail (as they are upgrading the system). Well he IMed me today and the first thing he says is "if you're dating other guys you can just tell me" - I told him about the phone and then he asked what I was doing tonight and said that I have a graduation get together to go to. So he starts freaking out and saying that I'm lying about the party and that I really have a date...wouldn't even listen to me but really at this point I don't care.

First of all I would like to say that since when does he own me. It's not like we are a couple. Not once have we referred to ourselves as such. And anyways he doesn't really show that much interest. He's far too busy wallowing in his self pity. It seems that he has presented himself falsely from the beginning. He says he can't stand negative people yet he is one of the most negative people I know. He says he's passionate - I have yet to see a spark of it. Yes the hug was great but that wasn't passion. He said he smoked cigs and that it doesn't bother him that I do yet he does not smoke cigs and he complains every time I do. Says he's super laid back but I find he's a very uptight person and stresses over EVERYTHING. Says he likes animals but freaked out everytime a cat or the dog would come around. Geez I could go on but why? So thank God his true colors are showing. I mean I knew he was all wrong for me but we both have the same taste in movies and we can get high together, friend stuff but I know that I could never love him.

I especially know now...someone else has opened my eyes quite wide. But I don't want to discuss him on the same page as Unstable SAM. He deserves a whole page to himself.

So I'm done with dating and done with trying to be just friends with guys because they're not having that. Gary wrote me the other day and said that "he still wants to try and roll around with me naked" and that "he still wants to try this friends with benefits thing". I can not believe he is still trying that. It would be one thing if I was actually leading him on or flirting with him but I have not once flirted or showed anything other than friendship and I flat out told him I don't want anything more but it's like he missed the whole thing. So that's it I'm done.

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