So on Friday - I hadn't heard from CS at all...I decided then that I would just be friends with him. I was ready to email him a message stating this...I went to visit Rose in the hospital and I was telling her how weird he's been and hadn't called and that I'm done...of course the phone rings then but I don't answer it. When I was done visiting around 8pm I texted him saying I was home blah blah...he calls me right back and asks what I'm doing tonight...I said nothing and he asked if he could see me that night. I said sure. Previous to that John had told me that he and CS were going out drinking...so I was surprised when he wanted to spend time with me...he tells me that he couldn't get a hold of me so made plans with John but now he didn't really want to go out but I insisted that he do...so he came over and hung out with me for a couple of hours. He said that he text me in the afternoon but I never texted back and then I didn't answer his call so he thought I was shunning him...I said I figured he didn't want to see me so I wasn't about to call him...he said he figured that and that's why he called. So he was very attentive and sweet which surprised me...eventually he went to meet up with John but he said hopefully John will want to come home right away so that he can see me more...strange indeed.

So on Saturday I went to my mom's for the yard sale. CS showed up around 10am and hung out with me all day and night. We ended up fooling around but not having sex...he got me off...he is the most sensual lover I've had in a long ass time. We watched a couple of movies...I had a nice time.

He called me yesterday and asked if he could come over...I said of course...we ended up fooling around again. This time I got him off and then he got me off. He really is a good lover and I can't wait to have sex with him but I'm putting it off because I'm having such a good time just with the foreplay. And his cock is pretty big...my perfect size. Thick and long. So of course I feel like the shit is going to hit the fan. He hasn't mentioned dating anyone else yet but those words keep going through my mind...I'm really starting to like this guy and I know that one day he's going to be like "yea I have a date tonight" and it's going to break my heart.

So I don't understand why he keeps coming around if he plans on dating other women. Maybe he's impervious to heartache. He probably doesn't let his heart get involved like a woman. So part of the time I'm trying to talk myself out of liking him. I don't know if I'll hear from him tonight or not. Probably not. He's probably had enough of me by now.

I really like that he's so affectionate. He's always touching or kissing me. It feels so nice.

I heard from OR. He emailed me but he sounded so sad. He said not to write back because he was going to be gone for a while...I don't know what that means...I hope he's ok. I'll write him back anyways.

John is seeing a new girl. She's pretty and he says she's cool. So he'll get a new girl and I'll probably get my heart broke.

So here I go again....

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