bday tomorrow
So I'm still hanging in there without sex or masturbation. Only a little over a week to go.

So highlights -

John and Heather are back together. At first things were pretty tension filled. Our new room mate doesn't care for her and she just met her. This is how it's been. She comes over - parks in the driveway (there is only enough room for 2) Nicole (the other roommate) and I park on the street and have to walk 1/4 mile to the house. She then sits on her ass while her boyfriend cooks and serves dinner and then she continues to sit on her ass and not lift a finger to help clean up. So Nicole and I refused to clean since it wasn't ours to clean. John said he would clean them when he got home but I ended up doing them. He cooked the whole dinner - SHE should be cleaning or at least offering to help when I do. So then she takes showers there and sleeps there but doesn't pay a dime for anything. She makes it so uncomfortable that I just stay in my room unless Nicole is there then we kind of hang out. They've been back together about a week and have already had a fight because he talked to me a little excitedly. The whole thing is ridiculous - I wish he'd just get rid of her for good. The only thing she is good for is sex with him and he could find someone else for that.

Blake (the guy that has had a crush on me for almost a year now) asked me to go to this installation thing as a friend but instead he treated me like I was his wife. It was very annoying and scary. He kept calling me babe and babydoll and kept trying to get me jealous. I could care less what he does I've told him time and again that I want nothing with him but friendship but now I don't even want that. He totally put me on the spot and made me very uncomfortable. He swore I wouldn't have to do anything but it turns out I had to "pin" him during the ceremony and I didn't want to but was pretty much forced into it. Then I'm paraded around like a princess while he brags about "us". He got mad because John and I kept talking to each other. So he proceeded to get really drunk which is such a turn on. I kept getting dirty looks from some of the women because I wasn't succumbing to his charm. He kept telling them his sob story etc. but I'm the bad guy for not liking him in that way. He is not attractive at all and way too smothering. I kept having to sneak off just to be alone. I met some really cool people though even though it was hard to talk to them because he kept trying to get my attention with stupid, stupid remarks, antics. I felt so violated. I was so happy to get home. Of course he wants to go out again but I'm not calling him back. He even creeped John out. But we had a good laugh about it. Thank god he was there!!! There is more to this story but I'm tired of talking about it.

My birthday is tomorrow so we are having a poker night. And Saturday my parents are taking me to dinner and then we are going to play poker at their house. John and Heather are coming too. I just hope she isn't all pissy.

Spencer (the guy that took my virginity a long time ago) called me a couple of weeks ago and we've been talking ever since. He's married now but wants to have an affair. I'm up for it but we'll see what happens. Mike has been calling too - says he misses me...Went out to dinner with Randy and he brought the Porche (I didn't know he had one) and he let me drive it. We had a really good time...I saw Shawn a few weeks ago and he just came up to me and started kissing me. I was taken back and kind of pushed him away so I'm sure I hurt his ego and don't know when or if I'll hear from him again...Oh and DS called last night (not me) and talked to John. They haven't talked in almost 2 months (since he moved). I guess he's doing ok. He said that my care package was the best care package ever!!!So that's cool. I miss him but I will go on - :)

Well it's time for me to go home. I'll write more later.

2004-04-01 || 3:41 p.m.


Who Is kokoro13?

A woman just trying to find lasting love with a real man
loves: kissing, reading, video games, falling in love.

hates: working, animal abuse, ignorance, mind games

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all content � kokoro13, 2003.

the past - the future