DS moved last night unexpectedly. His cousin/uncle called and said they were on their way to pick him up. J told me as soon as I walked in the door. So I'm holding back tears and get to my room and there is a stuffed rabbit with the pics from New Year's Eve. Carol framed 1 of the ones of DS and I and put it on the coffee table. I spoke with him briefly on the phone. He says he'll be back in a couple of months to move more of his stuff but it won't be the same. He says I'll be interested in someone else by then but I can only hope!!! So I spent the rest of the night holding back tears but not very well. My face showed no emotion but the tears just streamed down my face. I haven't been able to sit on the wicker chair we used to share. I sit on the back wall for now. I have stopped listening to any kind of music because I don't want some song to take me unaware and kick my ass. I am BARELY holding it together.

I have to go to my mom's after work but I don't want to. I just want to lock myself up in my room and cry for days.

Plus J and H got in a fight last night and I'm not sure why. He and I were playing Rummy and she came out and looked pissed and then they started fighting so I went to bed and that's all I know. So that sucks!

I can't believe that Tues. is the last time I got to see him. Who knew that that would be the last day? I should have stayed up with him all night - I hate hindsight. I thought I would get to sleep with him at least once more. He's says he'll keep in touch but probably not with me :( So today is the first day of the rest of my life without DS.

I have such a headache from crying all night. Man I'm going to miss him. I know he won't miss me at all but that's ok, I miss him enough for both of us. So now I have to get my pic framed. I want to make a copy for the office too. Put his pic next to MB's.

Well I don't feel much like writing anymore.

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