But you probably didn't know I was having this quandary.

I was outside having a cigarette and thinking about sex. I'm feeling pretty horny right now but I can't bring myself to have casual sex. I could easily call SS and he'd be right over. But I want that intimate passionate anything goes kind of sex. I'm craving affection. I get such a great high when I get to make love to someone that I can't settle for anything less right now. So I think I'm going to give up on having sex until I find someone that stirs feelings in me. Well someone has but I mean reciprocated stirrings. But of course I'm fiending for "sex with feelings" right now and just have to work through it.

Well DS came over last night. He seemed a bit withdrawn but he still made eye contact and initiated conversations with me. Then Ethan called and I was on the phone for a few hours and by the time I got off it was time for bed. So I just said goodnight to him and went to bed. He left about 10 min. after I went to bed. He is so cute. Oh well I'll just keep worshipping him from afar.