I just finished IMing with this one guy that I've thought is so good looking. Unfortunately he is a very good friend of my ex JB. He moved out of Ohio in March and moved to Colorado. He has had the same girlfriend for as long as JB and I were together. He is such a nice guy and so good looking. But of course he thinks the worst of me because of JB's warped ideas of a relationship. He put so much shit off on me that was completely not mine. So his friends think I'm this horrible person until they got to know me and realized I'm not that bad. But I never got the chance to really sit and talk with P. He asked me if I would sell my laptop but I still need it. I told him that I would just give it to him if I ever decided I didn't want it. He said that he'd have to give me something for it. I almost said, "ok one night in bed." He would've freaked out. He has no idea that I'm attracted to him. Plus he would've been offended, me being his friend's girl at one time. But damn he'll always be a fantasy of mine. He also looks remarkably like Eminem. I tripped out the first time I saw Eminem, I tripped on how much he looked like P. I think they are even the same age. The dream lives on.

I'm not sure what to think of Gil...I'm finding that he is very one dimensional and a little narcissistic. It gets a bit annoying. Randy on the other hand is adorable. So I'm still leaning towards Randy. I'm just concerned that he'll be too serious in bed. I want someone who can be playful. But I hope to find out in time. I still want to sleep with Gil at least once to see what all the hoopla is about. But that will never happen.

I finally heard from JG (my bestest guy friend). He was afraid to write me because he didn't know how I felt about their marital problems - being caught in the middle. I told him I'd always be there for him. I miss him so much. He has always been my rock. He told me that he misses talking to me so much. That he has been having deep personal problems and has no one to talk to about it since we haven't been talking. I told him to call me so that we could speak more freely. I hope he does.

I still haven't heard from SS, so that must be a goner. What a strange man. So now I'm left without a friend with benefits. I'm getting a little horny. It's been 3 weeks since I've had sex. The two men that I could be sleeping with both live 2 hours away from me. Not good. Me and my stupid high sex drive. It's partly my fault because I'm putting sex off with Gil and Randy until I get to know them better. But damn...

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