heartbreak hell
I'm on the Road of Love to Heartbreak Hell.

Once you are on the Road of Love there is no turning back. It's a very forward thinking road.

There are only two final destinations -Heartbreak Hell or Heavenly Bliss.

The Roads are nearly identical. When you first merge onto this Road you won't really know which Road you're actually on.

In the beginning every thing is beyond wonderful. The sun is shining, the air is perfect, not too cold, not too hot. You've got that Love Buzz going. Everything looks and feels heightened. The breeze is filled with sun kissed giggles that tickle your soul. Every step you take is better than the last.

About half way through this joyous journey you'll start to notice a change. Not so much with one Road as with the other.

On the one Road you'll notice that the air is a little cold and that this breeze is a little bitter and carries with it fragments of tears of those that walked before you. Can you guess where this one's going? But by now it's too late because even though this Road of Love is bittersweet it is nonetheless the Road of Love. You still have that Buzz except he brought along a little friend named Melancholy.

Mind you, you still feel good. It could be a one-sided love or maybe a deceptive love but your heart doesn't care. You love and that's all there is.

Near the end of the Road - you've given all the love you can but if it isn't real or isn't returned then there is nothing to replenish you. And you end up alone to join the others with your tears.

But just because you happen to end up on the Road of Love to Heavenly Bliss it doesn't mean that it's happy ever after but at least you were on the right path. At least you got a shot at experiencing love with another that loved you with the same passion. And for some it is happy ever after. Oh to be that lucky.

So here I am stuck on the Road of Love and I know where it's going and I'm scared. So for now I'm sitting my ass down and not taking another step. I have to think...Do I just keep going no matter the consequences of my well being? Or do I find a way off this Road? If it can be done I will figure it out.

But I have to ask myself...When will I ever be on the other Road? Why do I not deserve reciprocated love? Why is it only the ones I don't desire love me and those I do desire don't? Was it already here and gone? Did I somehow miss it? Unknowingly let it slip from my grasp? Or is it still out there waiting for me?

Please take my hand and walk with me down this Road...

2003-04-26 || 10:04 p.m.


Who Is kokoro13?

A woman just trying to find lasting love with a real man
loves: kissing, reading, video games, falling in love.

hates: working, animal abuse, ignorance, mind games

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all content � kokoro13, 2003.

the past - the future