My mentally unstable boyfriend has decided that he needs to be alone again. Which means in his fucked up language that we're breaking up.

But this time I'm leaving the state of Ohio and moving back to California. I've been in Ohio for 10 years now and I guess it's time to go back.

My friends are crying and upset which makes me feel loved by them at least. They are mad at him cuz it's like he fucked up their lives too cuz now I have to move.

I've been crying non-stop and my eyes and head are killing me.

He begged me for months on end to take him back and the stupid ass that I am I did.

I will pray everyday that he feels the pain that I do but that his pain will never end. I am a woman scorned and I'm pissed. I've never been this angry in my life and I'm tired of holding it in.

He's sleeping soundly now. It amazing how the soulless can sleep after destroying someone's life.

I've never known anyone so selfish in my life and so heartless. He claims to love me still but I find that hard to believe. He has a warped sense of love that's for sure.

I'll be fucked up for life and he'll just go on with his. He'll find some other girl and give her the love that I gave to him. How fair is that?

Will I ever find the love that I'm looking for? I invested 5 years of my life into this relationship (minus the last time he pulled this shit but I had M.B. to help me through and now I don't even have that).

I don't want to cry anymore but I hurt so much. It will be so sad being so far away from him but I don't have a choice. It will make it easier for him to get over me knowing that I'm not around. But I don't want it to be easier on him. He should suffer as much as I am and will. It's just not fair.

Why am I the one that has to feel pain and cry? And he gets off scott free. He'll probably be out everynight until I move. He can't stand to watch me cry. He's not man enough to face the pain he has inflicted on me.

Will someone please hear my prayers and take vengeance for me. I want him to be tormented by the thought and loss of me every single day of his miserable life. I'm not too bitter, am I?

I always thought that he'd be a part of my life. It will be so strange not having him there to talk to and all the stuff one takes for granted.

Well I'm signing off for now cuz I can't see through my tears once again.