I just finished reading my diary because I have been feeling melancholy (more than usual) lately. It was this time last year that I was beginning my journey with M.B. I needed to feel connected to him. I needed to know that it really happened. So much hope even though I knew it was going to end the way it did.

It's hard to believe that a year has already gone by. It went so fast. When I got to the part of our saying good-bye my eyes welled up with tears. I think the part that was most disturbing was when he said that he would be back. Funny how things change. I had also written about the things we planned to do together this summer that I had forgotten about. That was hard too.

I do miss him. It's best that he isn't here though. I don't think my heart could take it. He will always be my Perfectly Beautiful man.

I talked to J.G. the other night and if I don't move to California then I'm considering moving to Connecticut to be closer to New York. He only lives a couple of hours from there. That is the only other place besides Cali that I would like to live. Not necessarily Connect. but the close proximity to N.Y.C. I fell in love with that city and haven't been able to get over it.