the nightmare continues

It's been so long since I've written that I have nowhere to start. A lot has happened and maybe someday I'll tell you about it but for now I'm going to fast forward to the present because that is where I am now and that's all the energy I can gather.

My ex has moved back in, against my wishes I want the world to know. It has been freakish. Things are not going smoothly. He says things that scare me. Tonight he said that he doesn't want me to remember him as the guy who killed me. I asked him to repeat himself because I didn't think I heard him right. He says he means on the inside. He could've used a better choice of words. So I let that one go but then he says stuff like, "I can't stand knowing that you're alive and not mine." Or "I can't believe you're out there breathing and I don't get to hear it" or something like that. He says he tells himself that he hates me. Then he talks about how he wants to die. So my nervous mind feels threatened. And it doesn't help that everyone that knows he's been stalking me has the same ideas.

And if that's not enough I seem to have been forgotten by the man I love. Remember M.B. That's the guy. Maybe you've seen him. If you do tell him he's breaking my heart. I'm not going into details tonight because I don't want to start crying and all that right now.

Well I'm going to stop now because you know how one thing will lead into another and the next thing you know I've gone too far.

2001-12-08 || 1:55 a.m.


Who Is kokoro13?

A woman just trying to find lasting love with a real man
loves: kissing, reading, video games, falling in love.

hates: working, animal abuse, ignorance, mind games

Favorite Reads
all content � kokoro13, 2003.

the past - the future