Two steps back

M.B. showed up around 12:30am. He and his friend got into an argument. Now she wants to spend all day and night with him tomorrow and Friday. So I won't see him for a couple of days. He might come by tonight but who knows. He always puts her first yet claims to not like her. He's so confusing.

He went to leave around 4am and his car wouldn't start so we tried to jump it with cables but that didn't work. So he had to stay the night. I told him that it was fate working. I made my wish and the gods are trying to make it happen. But of course it didn't. But I'll keep trying, maybe. So this morning he pushed it and I popped the clutch and it started.

He was scheduled to come in at 2pm so I went and picked him up. He didn't seem interested today. Sometimes he seems really interested and then suddenly he's not. So again part of me wants to just give up on him and not let myself fall any further. I asked him how he would feel if I fell in love with him, like would it bother or upset him. He said no but that he wouldn't know what to do. I told him that he doesn't have to do anything. So I'll probably never tell him how I really feel.

Why do matters of the heart have to be so complicated? Will I ever find a guy to love and that loves me back?

2001-08-15 || 5:04 p.m.


Who Is kokoro13?

A woman just trying to find lasting love with a real man
loves: kissing, reading, video games, falling in love.

hates: working, animal abuse, ignorance, mind games

Favorite Reads
all content � kokoro13, 2003.

the past - the future