peaks and valleys

Last night was C.T.'s party. We had fun. M.B. and I didn't do the kissing thing. We just held hands and cuddled. We were both nervous. We danced a little bit. We had to leave early because C.T. was thrown out for being too drunk. I felt so bad for her. She threw up a lot. She called off work so they called me to see if I could come in but I didn't get much sleep last night and was planning to sleep today. I'm sure M.B. will go in. He hasn't had any sleep either but he mentioned that he would go in if C.T. called off. But at the same time he was saying how happy he was to have the weekend off. He's supposed to come by tonight too. We're going grocery shopping.

The other night C.T., M.B. and I went shopping. When we got back to my house he was more aggressive than usual. He kissed me instead of me always going for him. He even got hard at one point. I don't know if it was necessarily me that caused it or just a fluke but I could feel it pressing against my leg.

He's supposed to call later and let me know what time he's coming over. If he comes over at all. One minute he seems enamored with me and the next minute he's pulling back. So I don't know if he's still thinking about sleeping with me or has just given up. I don't want to keep bringing up the subject though. We did sleep for a few hours in the bed. A couple of times he snuggled up next to me. That was nice. He left around 2:30pm.

So who knows if I'll see him tonight because if he works he won't have had much sleep so may just go home and sleep. We'll see. I hope that he's not pulling away or getting tired of me which I fear is happening. I'm sure he wants to be with a man. His off and on boyfriend is coming back this month so I'm sure I'll see even less of him because he'll want to be with him and then his other female friend will want what other time he has left.

2001-08-04 || 3:38 p.m.


Who Is kokoro13?

A woman just trying to find lasting love with a real man
loves: kissing, reading, video games, falling in love.

hates: working, animal abuse, ignorance, mind games

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all content � kokoro13, 2003.

the past - the future