catching up

I received an e-mail back from my crush. He says he has this Virgin Mary Complex. He's catholic as well as gay and thinks that if he has sex with a woman he will taint her, destroy her serenity and virgin beauty. How am I supposed to help him see past that? If only he were straight and religious, gay and not religious, straight and a virgin, etc. not gay, religious and a virgin. So he says I'm not scaring him off. "You're confusing me and making me look at my own hangups, which is good. But not just in some psychotherapeutic sense. I enjoy it too."

I e-mailed him back about how unfair it is to make a woman either a whore or a virgin. No in between. It was pretty long. I hope he didn't think I was attacking him. I was attacking the idea. While I was writing it he called and we talked for 4 hours and then I finished it and sent it but he hasn't written back. I don't think he will.

He called me at work to see if I want to go to the movies. We're going to see Final Fantasy. Tonight he's going to some club.

My absentee boyfriend called yesterday and asked if I was upset with him. He said he was bothered all day thinking I was. I thought the same of him. He tells me he misses me and loves me. Asks me if I'm hanging out with other guys. I tell him no. I'm only hanging around one in particular and it doesn't seem like anything will come of it.

This morning while I was sitting in my car waiting for a manager to get there. This SUV that I don't recognize pulls up next to me and honks. So I look inside and it's this man that is a customer but he took me out to lunch one time and he stops in to say hi. He's an older gentleman. Attractive. Apparently wealthy. I befriended him way before I knew he was rich. It wasn't until we started talking a lot that someone pulled me aside and asked me if I knew who that man was. I find out that he owns this big company. But he is the nicest man I've met in a long time. So he shows up and we get out of our cars to talk. He recently went to Egypt and he said that he'd see if he had any souvenirs left. So today he brought me a scarab that he bought there. I gave him a hug and thanked him. That was so cool. The girls tease me and call him my sugar daddy. He was all dressed up in a suit today and looking good.

One cool thing is that M.B. and I have already made plans for the next weekend. We're going to watch a movie on Saturday and go for a drive on Sunday. This weekend he's going with his mom to take care of some school business. God I hope that he lets me take him soon. I'm sure all this analyzing of the subject is going to take the passion away for him. It takes a lot to take my passion away. We could talk about it all night and I'm still going to want to. But it might make him even more scared. Who knows? Once again I'll just let it go.

2001-07-13 || 2:40 p.m.


Who Is kokoro13?

A woman just trying to find lasting love with a real man
loves: kissing, reading, video games, falling in love.

hates: working, animal abuse, ignorance, mind games

Favorite Reads
all content � kokoro13, 2003.

the past - the future