fireworks 2

Went to the fireworks last night with C.T. We had an awesome time. We found this field with a perfect view. We smoked a joint and made orgasmic sounds at the fireworks. She made me promise that I'd put that in my diary. It really was magical. We both thought that the mood was very romantic and too bad we didn't have any men. She's dating a married man and he was with his family. But we had fun in spite of that.

The thing that intrigues me is that the whole night I wished that M.B. had been there with me. He occupies my mind more than my absentee boyfriend. M.B. leaves in September so I don't want to be heartbroken when he leaves but I already am. We aren't even a couple or anything but I really am taken by him.

I e-mailed M.B. when I got home from the fireworks. I was very sleep deprived and stoned and told him that I heard a song and a line reminded me of him. I also told him that it was the first time in a long time that the world hasn't seemed so bleak, thanks to him. I told him that I love our all night laugh fests and that I actually missed him last night. I know I should just shut up and not say anything to him but I've always worn my heart on my sleeve. You'd think after my absentee boyfriend totally and completely broke my heart that I'd be skittish. I wish I were. So he e-mailed me back and told me about his night and that he wants to make the ice cream Saturday or earlier. He said he enjoys our laugh fests too. So at least I didn't scare him off.

I saw M.B. for about 1/2 an hour at work. I get so nervous around him. I told him that I'd like to wait until Saturday to make the ice cream because he had to work late tonight and tomorrow. Plus I'll have Sunday off so can stay up all night. Hopefully nothing will go wrong. Like things always seem to for me. Next Tuesday I work all day with him, that will be hard because when he's near I want to touch him and he smells so good. He stood next to me today and I could smell him and I started feeling excited and dizzy so had to walk away. It's strange because no man has ever made me feel like that. I've never gotten light-headed from smelling a man or by just standing near him. I'm so silly.

2001-07-05 || 4:11 p.m.


Who Is kokoro13?

A woman just trying to find lasting love with a real man
loves: kissing, reading, video games, falling in love.

hates: working, animal abuse, ignorance, mind games

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all content � kokoro13, 2003.

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